The Fight Within Us- The Monster & The God

"A scar on our soul

Never to be seen

A light in the tunnel

Please return to me

And when we meet

After the dark

You'll be there

To complete my heart"

I start my blog today with prayers and condolence for the family of the people who lost their lives in Uttarakhand flood. I saw a video of how people unknowingly went to the arms of death. It deeply shattered me inside. I deeply feel for the loss and I am in pain, this is all I can say. All my Mumbai Indians, Please be careful this weekend, I got a high alert message of chances of some mishap to happen again. We all need to be together as our strength lies together. Lets fight against it. Protect our near and dear ones.

Now I hope you all had a great week? I am back with my newest thoughts, newest observation and I am all set to share it with you. :-) Before I start I would like to say that I had a great time practicing karaoke each day. My friend Dimi has been my mentor all this while. Till the time I actually started doing it I did not realize that just having a good voice does not help, while you are trying to achieve something all kind of hurdles are going to show up and you have to be ready to fight it out. I practice till 2:30 am at night everyday, I did get throat problem, I gave up on all the chilled drinks I couldn't do without and I had to do it because I promised all of you I will come back with my karaoke performance very soon. While I got better I am still to get at my best which I am positive I will achieve and very soon :-) . These days while listening to lot of music I have been hooked on to one song of Christina Aguilera's "Bound to love". The song is a masterpiece but even more the masterpiece is Christina's voice. There are so many excellent and talented pop singers but the texture of her voice is blended with magnificence and divinity. Everybody is born with a gift of God, some realizes and some do not and she is the one to be gifted with a marvelous voice. I am glad that she utilized it and shared her gift with the world. Her songs are inspired from her experiences of childhood, public scrutiny and she talks about female empowerment. 

As an individual we all are emotional, bound to fight our own battles. Let me tell you, no one is weak, no one is fragile but we all are afraid to be hurt. Hurt do make us go through emotional turmoils which may break us from inside and that is what we are afraid of and want to avoid most of the time.Sometime we build walls around us and don't let people get inside it, that wall become our shelter, it protects us. We all have our own way to deal with it. But the people who trust easily are also fighters but the only thing is the frequency of being hurt is greater than usual and therefore it makes them fearful. Sometime just being afraid of the hurt that they are most prone to receive they tell people that they are fragile and sensitive. But the fact is the one who intends to hurt you will hurt you anyway so take time to trust people and know that you are strong. Your emotions are not your draw back but your strength and should be revealed to right people. People who are truly proud to have you in their life, and gives you back what they receive from you. Give time to people and yourself, don't judge anyone, don't hate anyone, be at the best of yourself always, take time to care, be kind but don't lose grip on your emotions. Don't give too much of yourself that when it is time to put yourself together back again you have a tough time.

Last day after work I came back home with my friend Shruti, she is a work associate of mine. She is a smart Delhiite, a former Miss.India, extremely pretty and a tough girl. Upfront and lives life to the fullest. While on our way back home we planned to grab a bite somewhere. So we went to Hometown Cafe in Bandra. I have a problem that sometime I go to my shell. In that period I hardly talk and always consumed in my thoughts. She has been noticing it for a while that I am aloof and then finally she confronted me because it was bothering her. While I was being distant I did not realize how she felt so I apologized to her and explained her it is my way to deal with my thoughts, since I am a thinker, I have a little different and weird nature and I know it is extremely difficult to understand me at times. However we finally had a great time and she being a Budhhist it is a protocol for her to go for chanting and share her experiences with people and motivate them to fight their battle, and this is what she is going to spend her weekend on. So I wish her all the very best for that!  A midst various discussion I stated her that it is important that we trust our own self and God, so her question was to me God and Devil both are within us so how do we make out who is talking inside us and whom we are trusting and whom not? Intrigued by her question I asked her back too that what is the role that Devil plays inside us. She told me Devil is the one who stops us to go for our work out and make us crave for a junk food, Devil is the one who will not let you focus when you want to study and you have exam, precisely Devil is the one who bounds us by chain and we end up being a Devil's workshop at the end wanting to do nothing and end up being good for nothing person with low self-esteem to ourselves. And the one who pushes us beyond our boundary, which gives us the strength to say no to the Devil and go for the work out  is God and the power of positivism within us and when we listen to him we listen to God.There is a constant fight of Devil and God happening inside us, it is us to decide who wins. But whatever we choose we have to also realize.... 

"If you do the work you get rewarded. 

There are no shortcuts in life. "- Michael Jordan 

(Shortcuts are devil!)

Intrigued further with this discussion I shared my thought with her and now I am writing to share all about it with you. Some people believe that the one who listen to God is following the path of purity and truth and there are some who believe that monstrous action can only lead to victory. The key to be monstrous is being selfish, self centered, ruthless which they believe will take them to the path of "Greatness". There are two faces of negative and powerful beasts in us, one is devilish which will stop us from achieving and the other will lead us to a wrong path for what we want to achieve. Similarly God too, one is calm and level headed but tactful like Lord Vishnu and the other is a warrior, a fighter, Lord Shiva. All these characters are representation of a human personality. We all have them and we all choose to nurture and blend what we want to create in us. It is what we choose will make us what we want to be. We can rob , kill and execute series of bomb blasts or play with people's emotion, cheat them and become a Dawood Ibrahim or a Osama Bin Laden. No doubt by being them we can become the richest and the most monstrously powerful people in  this world and keep escaping from the reality of our own self and keep hiding for our entire life. Or we can choose to be someone like Dr. Bernard Reux the protagonist character of Albert Camus's book "The Plague". A doctor who found solidarity in trying to help, rescue and treat the people of Oran, an Algerian City to fight the cholera epidemic wide spread that killed a large number of population in 1849 post French colonization.Who knew someone like Abraham Lincoln who was born in an ordinary family would one day through his determination and knowledge serve as a President of United States and would be responsible for handling the constitutional and moral crisis during American Civil War and abolish slavery.

This is a song of Madonna "You are Frozen". It says keep your heart open. At the end if we give what others have given to us we let the monster win within us which is not letting love or the Power of God win. I love the song and hence sharing with you. Hope you enjoy. :-)

All we need is compassion! Greatness starts from feeling other's pain and working towards trying to heal it. In that process when our own gets healed we do not even realize and the feeling of achievement empowers us. When I write I share what I learnt, observed and I felt. May be some readers out there would be gaining something out of it , that is my objective and in process of my writing I am engrossed in it and lost in my world. My whole objective to write this blog is to acquaint you to your light (God) and dark (monster). It is our choice whom we feed, the one we feed becomes stronger in us and make us meet our destiny. 

"One individual may die for an idea; but that idea will, after his death, incarnate itself in a thousand lives. That is how the wheel of evolution moves on and the ideas and dreams of one nation are bequeathed to the next."

-Netaji Subhash Chandra Bose

Our great patriots are still remembered for their sacrifices. My personal favorite is Netaji Subhash Chandra Bose, Bhagat Singh, Jatindra Nath Mukherjee (Revolutionary Philosopher), Bankim Chandra Chattopadhyay (Patriotic writer). They all contributed in their own way and are still remembered for their struggle for freedom. All they wanted us to do is find peace and love in our Country and live a honorable life. But the question is are we in peace? They fought with the demons who molested the dignity of our Country and now we are too busy in just deciding whom to listen and whom to fight for within us! What an irony of life!!

This is a song of another amazing singer Whitney Houston. I hope we all get inspired listening to it. :-)

P.S- My writings will always be a dedication to Ms. Sushmita Sen Mam, Former Ms. Universe and a talented actress. Thank you for all the inspiration you gave me to continue writing.

Authored by

Priyanka Saha

Date. 13.07.2013

The Ties of Heart

"Tie your heart to mine, 
and we will defeat the darkness
like twin drums beating in the forest
against the heavy wall of wet leaves."


Hi Everyone! Hope you all had great fun all this time? I am spending all my time exploring the features of my android phone, I have been using it since quite sometime now but I did not really explore it beyond necessity till date. Now when I did I ended up making some nice collages and no doubt it also helped me to make presentation for my associates who has come down from Switzerland for quarterly review. It seems they are impressed. You know I had reasons to be happy and heart broken at the same time. The reason that makes me happy is to see I have so many wonderful readers who reads me and feels motivated. Your motivation has inspired me to become personalized and share something about myself today. But I do not like to speak about sorrows so I would only say that there are times we all feel sad, dejected and heart broken. The one  who stays calm and patient in this phase is the one who comes out as a stronger person. As per the feedback of my readers you feel motivated reading my blog posts, I must confess that like you even I do go through various hurdles in life. I am no exception you see :-). But I try to conquer the hurdles with my positive attitude and deep faith in God, That is me! True me! I truly believe that we all have happy and sad moments. By being there for each other is the best we can do. I can share what worked for me and how it did if you feel it does for you too then yes! We are on the right page! :-)

 Honestly I am not really in the state of writing but I know today if I have my followers it is just because of it. Whatever the circumstances may be I would try to do justice to them by writing each time I feel I have something to write. It is the duty towards people who love what you do. Like, those musicians of the ship Titanic who played until the ship sank in 1912 just to calm down the passengers. I have a commitment to entertain my readers too. Thanks to Krishnapal, Jeet Chatterjee, Ashir Javed Mattoo, Akshad, Julia, Mohammad Waseem for making me feel I have a cause to live for and give my best to and my all time thanks to Sushmita Mam evidently. All those people who comment on my Blogpost on the page itself  deserves a special mention that you all are the reason I publish my writing now. Your comments inspire me. If I have strength I want to share it with others. I don't believe being selfish, self centered and ruthlessness helps. It takes you to darkness, for a while you may feel empowered but eventually you will be lost and get swallowed up by your own shadows. Faith and purity may offer you hurdles and learning but eventually it is a true artist and creates in you the finest artistic piece for the world to see. Compassion, Openness, Acceptance, respect and love gives you confidence and takes you everywhere you want to see yourself.

Some ties does not come by blood but by heart...

I have a friend called Dimi and I know her since 2 years. Initially when I have known her I found her cold and detached. But as soon as we started spending more time together I see that even if she does not know my worries she knows I do have it, she knows how to cheer me up and that too without being snoopy she tries her level best to bring back my smile. I ditch most of my friends as it is just so much fun to watch a movie with her or cooking or reading or writing or anything but she is the company which makes me feel I am just doing great! We do not judge each other and we love doing fun things together. Here is a catch she has to leave soon for her family commitment. Some relationship truly becomes engraved and inseparable part of our life but it may not be there forever as we are sisters by heart but not by blood so she will have to go. Having said that I know somewhere she is worried about me. I want to tell her that I have great memories with her and she gave me lot of opportunities to smile so people who are an important part of our life and our responsibility, it is our karma to be by their side when they need us. She must go, by doing her karma she will do right and I will be truly happy when I see her do that. Some relationships never really leave us. For me this is one of them.

I also know someone who has been my oldest friend in Mumbai. His name is Sunil Ramakrishnan. He was the one under whom I worked for a while and after that I have been of my own so we became friends. He is a friend who has completely no expectation from me but only my friendship. Even if I dont call him for 6 months he does not judge me and he still knows his friend is just a call away when needed. We do have mutual respect for each other and I do appreciate him giving me so much respect each time when I talk to him.

Its a wonderful song for my wonderful friends and readers. :-)

This blog is dedicated to all the people who has given me that kind of love, inspiration and support which does not involve anything but your true feelings. :-)

Dimi, this collage is for you and for everyone else to know that I am good at it and will get better. :-)

"Holding hands, for example is a way to remember how it feels to say nothing together."

-Nicole Crauss


P.S- My writings will always be a tribute to Sushmita Sen Mam. A special thank you to her for inspiration.

Authored by

Priyanka Saha

Date- 4.07.2013